microdose joy
Which comes first, peace or joy?
Have you leaped for the sun thinking it was a juicy fruit lately, yet instead discovered the Sun God, who taught you his secrets? In Valmiki's Ramayana, Hanuman did that. Stay with this beautiful metaphor, imagining the fresh perspective that comes when joy is alive in the heart. PS - my son, whose joy is ever awe-inspiring, conceived and design the above flyer.
As we enter our joyfully anticipated retreat season, this has been my reflection. I'll share more in this week's blog post, tomorrow's retreat and this month's meditation. Through attentive acquaintance with both joy and its flip side, suffering, I can say one thing with conviction: joy is separate from pleasure, and seeking pleasure leads to pain. So we won't be pleasure seeking, neither in our meditation, nor on retreat. But joy will be promulgated, in theory and practice.
Deconstructing key concepts like joy and pain can surprisingly yield a higher quality of life. Think about the last thing that brought you intense pleasure. Maybe it was an encounter with a lover, the tiramisu dessert, stepping on a scale and noticing weight loss, if you’ve been trying, or a weight gain, if you’ve been there. Perhaps it was jumping in the pool during a heat wave, or the thrill of buying the new car. Perhaps it was seeing the pay check deposited into the account, or finally landing the position you’ve been working hard for. Being acknowledged by someone who you are romantically interested in or finding out you were accepted at your number one pick college or university.
These all feel fantastic. Fulfilling desires is an integral part of life. But, only one part. When it takes center stage and pursuit of the objects of desire becomes the means of happiness, it also serves as a saboteur. How? Desire falls in the category of mental obstacles, as pleasure seeking can only eventually lead to pain, as that which gives us pleasure inevitably changes, and/or we do, and it’s fleeting. It disappears, sooner or later.
Joy, on the other hand, is an inside job, one that hinges on nothing external. As I reflect on joy, what I discover is countless missed opportunities to experience it, as I was not at ease within myself. Figuring this out now is Ok, as I can shift gears. I also abide in joy sometimes! And each microdose of entering a calm and aware state and choosing joy supports further proliferation of such, as it leaves an impression.
What kept me from experiencing joy is that I did not have what I thought would bring me happiness. Maybe it was a functional co-parent, as a single Mom. Or a significant other, when I wished to share a special occasion with someone other than myself. Perhaps it was a compliant child who’d just follow my lead when time was tight and there was an agenda that needed to be followed, a bus he needed to catch, a deadline that needed to be attended to. Maybe it’s the financial uphill battle I face daily, or age-related shifts in my prakrti.
Reflecting, it’s always deeper peace within, understood by me now as reduced klesa activity, that preceded joy, for me. I could be in the midst of Even if things weren’t as I imagined they needed to be for ultimate happiness, which we all know they usually are not, I was at ease. I could allow the waves of desire, of aversion, of identity to rise and fall, and not rise and fall with them. And whether it was in traffic, shopping at the grocery store, teaching a class or talking to a friend, lunching with my Mom, swimming, guiding an interaction with my child, attending a function or writing a newsletter, I embodied it.
Microdose joy with us on retreat, in class and in your lives, sanga. We are traveling this road together.