Fringe Benefits
What you came for vs. who you are becoming
At Yoga Foundation, in our courses, I plainly ask you the results of the practices we do together, and the ones you do at home. I see that you are coming for osteopenia, yet gaining the ability to be compassionate toward yourself. Coming to recover from an eating disorder, yet replacing your negative self judgement talk with moments of neutral mental space. Attempting to alleviate your depression, yet starting a new hobby. Fringe benefits, one by one, reveal themselves in unexpected, multi-faceted forms, moments and capacities, revelations, realizations and emotions. The deeper we go, the more we discover, the broader the access to unprecedented options to how we think, move, breathe, emote and function.
Yoga practice takes us closer to our goals; however, sometimes it’s the fringe benefits, the consequences of the deliberate actions we take toward health, that prove to be the most profound. Think back to when you first chose Yoga Foundation. I am thinking of a few of you. Tight hips. A tight thoracic spine. A child with addiction. In the middle of a divorce. In a mismatched marriage. Major depressive disorder. Overweight. A healthy hobby.
While I know you have made some progress over these years with regards to that, you share and exude other unexpected consequences of your earnest practices. Finally being able to cry and release stored emotions. Gaining the ability to self regulate in the midst of interactions with triggering relatives. The ability to ward off others’ bad moods. Big work moves to gain more down time away from your professional responsibilities. Properly applied and practiced Yoga does all this, and much more.
I came to Yoga at age 21 because I started to feel unhinged, uncomfortably at the mercy of things spinning off around me. Years passing by, I began taking the reigns that I allowed my senses and the people, objects and circumstances around me to hijack. I became a woman who wasn’t afraid to take paths less traveled. Who took once-in-a-lifetime risks that seemed like they’d make great memories. Who refused to say yes when my body was telling me no. Who summons faith when self doubt’s fire begins to spread within me. 30 years later, I do not feel unhinged. I allow myself to feel pain without completely falling apart, and I have tools, and friends who use tools, and we remind each other who we are.
These feedback statements come verbatim in response to reflections given at the end of practices. No one came for these reasons. They came because they have physical, mental and behavioral health concerns. The abhyasa-s elicit benefits beyond our limited, laukika perspectives. Laukika is our view from a lens that is clouded and crowded, our ordinary, worldly perspective. Our ability to perceive is hindered due to what has adhered to our lens.
Permission to release certain emotions
Stay more focused, less scattered
Breathe in compassion, breathe out judgement
Realization that Yoga does not equal torture
This keeps me focused
This keeps me centered
The breath can set my pace
Some of my physical mysteries are being solved
I’m discovering where I am tight, where I am weak
Noticing how what’s in my mind takes me away from the state of Yoga
It calms me
I can meditate
My movement feels deeper
Deeper concentration
Breathing can be hypnotic
Come as you are, and keep doing that. Having goals is a great starting point. Where I see progress stunted is that practitioners think they know how the progress is supposed to happen. There’s an overdoing, too much ambition marked by a lack of faith in the tools, one’s own self, process, teacher, system. A sabotaging of practice before it even begins. Be open, and let the unexpected benefits blossom, meanwhile we work toward your goals. Those fringe benefits matter and are often the necessary, subsidiary transformations you’ll need to support your known aims. Name them. Speak them. Feel them. Live them.